For my Husband…After 12 Years

Dear Husband,

We have spent 15 years in the ministry together and the last 12 years as husband and wife. Throughout that time, we have seen some joy and some sorrow, some laughter and some tears, some ups and some downs. Through it all we have walked together, side by side, hand in hand, for better or for worse. 

Before we met, I felt the Lord calling me to ministry. I knew I was called to be a pastor’s wife- I didn’t know my calling was to be your wife. God had something in store for me beyond my imagination. He could see the days of joy and the difficult road ahead of us when he planned out our days together. I am so thankful that he brought us together. 

I was there when you surrendered your heart to the ministry after you felt the Lord tugging on your heart; I was there when you were brought into this great ministry through licensing and reaffirmed through ordination. I stood by your side and was proud to call you my husband as you declared your calling before His church body.

I was there, with you, as you became pastor to a small group of people for the first time. And again as we were called to another body of believers. 

I was there, watching, when the sweet older ladies would come and put their arms around your neck and pull you close just to thank you for speaking truth from the pulpit.

I was there, watching, when parents looked at you with tears in their eyes as you shared the greatest story ever told with their child, as their child walked down the aisle to take you by their hand and declare the greatest decision they had ever made, and as you stood before the church, and baptized their sweet child in obedience to the Lord.

I was there, pondering, taking in the moment when our daughter sat in your lap wanting to know the God of her mother and father, wanting to know this Jesus who could take away her sin. I watched as you led one of the precious gifts God has given us into a relationship with Him. 

I stood beside, cheering her on as you baptized that gift before His body of believers. With tears in my eyes, I watched as she proclaimed Jesus as her Savior. 

I was there when you would come home so excited and passionate about what the Lord was doing. I was there, right by your side, envisioning and dreaming with you of the future for His bride, the church. 

I was there when you would come home meeting after meeting, feeling defeated, wondering what more you could have said, what more you have done. I saw how defenseless you looked and felt as you sat and took all of the countless accusations of the things people thought you were doing wrong or weren’t doing. I could see in your eyes all of the things you wanted to say, but didn’t because of the spirit of God living in you, calling you to love His people, even the difficult to love.

I was there when you made the decision to lead your family in another direction. I watched as you worked hard to provide for us. Together we wept over the past and rejoiced in the hope of a future.

I have been there, falling more in love with you each time you have taken one of our children in your arms and held them tight so they could feel your love and protection. 

You’ve been there every time I’ve felt the defeat of the world or when the feelings of loneliness and rejection creep in and take up residence in my heart. 

You’ve been there. After 12 years, you’ve been here. I’ve been here. Despite what trials and struggles we’ve been thrown . 12 years, 2 kids, 3 towns, endless laughs and memories. 

So I’ll be there. Forever I’ll be by your side, supporting you, praying for you, and making memories with you. I praise Him everyday that He brought you to me and that we get to do life together. 

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